WAS IT ALL FOR THE BEST?

"We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be." -Kurt Vonnegut

Who am I? I'm the kid who retypes a word if he catches himself misspelling it, and uses punctuation. I am alone with all my friends. I am busy by myself. I do a lot of things I don't want to do, I do a lot of things I am ashamed of. There are things that I like to do that I don't, can't, explain to other people without being mocked or judged.

In the book Catcher In the Rye, Holden walks down the street, feeling he is sinking into the ground through every intersection. His brother, his dead brother helps him. This is what I'm talking about. Is there anyone out there who feels the same way?

If there was, would I really want to know? I like my feeling of singularity. I don't want to be one with the crowd, but at the same time, I wouldn't feel comfortable knowing that I was running away from conformity. I would rather toil away endlessly under the garb of conformity while being an individual on the inside. Invisible to all, inconspicuous.

"If you are lonely when you're alone, you are in bad company." -Jean-Paul Sartre

"What's it going to be then, eh?"

Do you feel lonely when you are alone? Alex was so lucky to be a test subject in A Clockwork Orange. His "education" was not one of a mechanical society. He alone was individual. Through force, yes, but some people have greatness thrust upon them.

WAS IT ALL FOR THE BEST?